


The One Where Hardison Meets The Doctor

by seraphina_snape



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Leverage
Genre: Christmas, Friendship, Gen, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28381302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphina_snape/pseuds/seraphina_snape
Summary: Hardison gets to meet the Doctor for Christmas.
Relationships: Alec Hardison & Parker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The One Where Hardison Meets The Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [@lighthouse_the](https://lighthouse-the.livejournal.com). The challenge was to write a Christmas fic or a crossover fic. And I thought 'why make it easy on myself?' and did both.

It had to be a dream. Hardison was sure of it. It couldn't be what he thought it was. It _couldn't_.

"It's impossible," he muttered, trying to convince himself he _wasn't_ seeing a dark blue telephone box in his living room. "Absolutely impossible."

"What is?"

Hardison jumped and turned around. 

Leaning against his fridge was a man in a brown pin-striped suit. His hair was spiked up and his tie loosely knotted. He wore converse sneakers and had one eyebrow raised. 

"You're not real." 

The man frowned. "I'm sure I am."

"You even sound British."

The man shook his head. "That's a common misconception. I sound Gallifreyan. Your brain just has trouble interpreting the accent and substitutes with a known approximation."

Hardison shook his head. "I'm dreaming." The Doctor was _not_ standing in his apartment. And that was _not_ his TARDIS next to the sofa.

"Right." The man walked over to the telephone box and opened the door. "I'm the Doctor, you're not dreaming, and I'm here to take you - well. Wherever you want to go, I suppose."

Hardison opened his mouth, but no sound came out. 

The doctor opened the door wider and Hardison could see past him into the TARDIS. Definitely bigger on the inside. 

Hardison let out an embarrassing squeak.

"There, there," the Doctor said awkwardly. "No need to panic. We don't have to go through time. I could just take you to... Mars? Present day Mars? Is that cute little robot still up there exploring it? We could say hi!"

The Doctor stepped into the TARDIS, then leaned back out. "You coming?"

Hardison gulped down some much-needed air. He hesitantly stepped up to the door and touched the smooth wood. "Wow," he breathed.

"Usually people are impressed once they see the inside of my TARDIS." The Doctor shrugged. "The outside usually only inspires 'that's not a proper spaceship' whining."

Hardison stepped inside, barely noticing when the door closed behind him. "This is so cool."

The Doctor smirked. "I know, right?"

"How? I mean, why? Aren't you a TV show?"

"Eh, that's just misdirection. I know the people in charge. I give them the occasional story and they make sure it's all a bit too fantastical to believe. Makes it easier to get around. You don't know how many times I've been mistaken for a cosplayer. That really comes in handy most of the time."

"So not everything is real?"

"Oh, it's all real." The Doctor gave a little half-shrug. "Just not always as it's shown on TV."

He pulled a few levers and flipped a few switches. "So, Mars? Your friend - well, maybe she's a coworked? Honestly, she could be a stalker; she was very well-informed about you - and me, which is a bit worrying if I'm honest - and she's holding my coat hostage until I've shown you the universe. So? Where do you want to go?"

"Are you talking about Parker? About this tall, blonde, thief, likes to jump off buildings?"

"That's her. Met her once in a Mongolian prison. I went back a few days later to see if I could help her, but she was already gone by then. Didn't see her again until next Thursday." 

"Next Thursday? That's Christmas Eve."

"Ah, that explains the letter." The Doctor took a folded up letter out of his pocket. "The Santa bit in the beginning confused me a little, but the rest was about me. Postal services, huh? Always get the letter where it's supposed to go."

"Sure," Hardison replied absently. Parker had... written to Santa to get the Doctor to meet him? Either he was dreaming the strangest dream ever, or he needed to seriously rethink his Christmas gift for Parker. The personalized tazer was not going to be able to keep up with her gift to him. 

"Can we go to the past? To Earth?"

The Doctor wrinkled his nose. "A little boring, but sure. When exactly? And don't say your own birth or something else from your time stream. That's a big no-no."

"No. I was thinking of something else..."

#

One errand and twenty-odd years earlier, Hardison was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible while breaking into Parker's childhood home. Well, one of them anyway. The first, at least as far as Parker could remember.

"You're taking far too long! Shove over." The Doctor pushed him to the side and pointed his screwdriver - his _sonic_ screwdriver - at the door lock. With a sonic whine and a quiet click, the lock sprung open. 

Hardison pulled his hoodie a little lower and followed the Doctor into the dark hallway. It was late, but he could hear the low sounds of a TV from up ahead. The blue-ish flickering lights told him it came from the second door on the right. Hardison quietly opened the first door, only to find nothing but a couple of coats and a messy stack of shoes. 

The Doctor peered into the doorway on the other side but shook his head. "Kitchen," he whispered. 

They crept down the hallway until Hardison reached the second door. He carefully peered in. A set of shabby living room furniture consisting of an armchair, a sofa and a low coffee table were set up facing towards the back of the house where the TV stood on a sideboard that didn't match the rest of the living room furniture. In the corner behind the sofa, right by the window, stood a rather sorry-looking Christmas tree. It was decorated with strings of popcorn and hand-made ornaments, alongside a handful of store-bought ornaments in a garish purple colour. There were two presents under the tree, both badly wrapped. A third present stood on the coffee table, the wrapping paper half-torn to get at the upper end of the bottle of booze inside. It was already half empty.

Hardison focused on the man in the armchair. He was asleep, wearing a pair of sweat pants and a stained t-shirt. A cigarette was still smouldering in an ashtray set down on the armrest. 

Hardison clutched the little bunny - an exact copy of the one Parker had - unsure whether he could risk it or not. But he didn't have much choice. If he wanted Parker to have at least some comfort during her childhood, he needed to risk it. Besides, present day Parker clearly had her bunny. So he'd done it before and it had worked.

Hardison took a fortifying breath and slowly crept forwards. He finally reached the Christmas tree and put Bunny down beside Parker's other present. 

Hardison was about to turn back when the man in the armchair gave a loud snore and woke himself up. Hardison dropped behind the sofa. 

The man - Parker's father or foster father, Hardison wasn't sure - grumbled to himself, lit another cigarette and settled back into his chair. Hardison stayed where he was, not ready to risk a look. Instead, he glanced at the Doctor, stuck outside in the dark hallway.

The Doctor made a "wait" gesture and Hardison nodded. 

Five minutes later, Hardison heard a snore. He raised his eyebrows at the Doctor. 

The Doctor shrugged. 

Hardison decided to risk it - but with as little risk as possible. He stayed on all fours and crawled towards the door until he reached the end of the sofa. The man in the chair had his eyes closed, but he couldn't be deeply asleep yet. Still, he'd have to risk it. He kept crawling until he hit the hallway.

The Doctor helped him up and they quietly made their way back to the door. 

Outside, Hardison took a deep breath. "Holy cow, that was close."

"Eh, I've had worse."

Hardison blinked. "Actually, so have I. But not while time travelling to my friend's past."

They exchanged a look and started giggling.

#

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor hesitated with his hand on a lever. "So... back home, or do you fancy one more trip? Maybe somewhere further out? What do you say about visiting the planet Azeroth?"

Hardison let out another squeak, then cleared his throat. Maybe he needed a lozenge? "Azeroth? As in, World of Warcraft?"

"I heard they made it into a game," the Doctor said. He smiled. "There's a video game about me, too."

"I know; I've played it," Hardison said. "Azeroth? Really?"

The Doctor nodded. "We'll visit during peacetime, don't worry. It's not half as bad as you're imagining." 

Hardison honestly wasn't sure if that was disappointing or not. "Azeroth?" He shook his head. "Sure, why not?" He laughed. "Yeah, let's go to Azeroth!"

The Doctor grinned and pushed down the lever in his hand.

#

Four hours - or four months, depending on your point of view - later, Hardison stepped out of the TARDIS into his own living room. He gave one last wave to the Doctor and closed the door, watching as the TARDIS faded from view.

He put his small bag - it was bigger on the inside! Special gift from the Doctor provided he never showed it to anyone or tried to reverse-engineer it - down and threw himself on the couch. 

"So he got my letter."

Hardison yelped and fell off the couch.

Parker shook her head at him from where she was perched on his kitchen counter. 

"What?"

"Santa," Parker said. "He got my letter." She smiled smugly.

Hardison thought about denying it for half a second before he grinned and got back on the couch. "Yeah, it worked! Best Christmas present ever, Parker! Thank you!" 

Parker shrugged, but her smile turned from smug to pleased. 

"Seriously, it was awesome. I went to so many places - both in space and in history - and it was amazing. Seriously, Parker, I can't thank you enough."

Parker slid down from the kitchen counter and sat down on the other end of the couch. "I wanted to say thank you, too."

Hardison frowned. "Why? I mean, I was the one who went travelling!"

Parker brought her arms out from behind her and held up Bunny in one hand and the tag that Hardison had attached to it that day in the part. The tag read "from Santa, for the loveliest little girl in the world". 

"That's your handwriting, isn't it?"

Hardison wasn't sure what to say. When Parker had told him that story about how she'd 'become friends with Bunny', he'd thought it was a child's wishful thinking. She'd been absolutely convinced the gift came from Santa - since her parents both denied buying Bunny and yet, he'd been her Christmas present when she was four.

"Thank you, Hardison." Outside, a bell started chiming midnight. Parker laughed. "And Merry Christmas."

Hardison frowned. "Christmas is in a week."

Parker shook her head. "Christmas is now. You've been gone for a week."

Hardison snorted. "I guess that's one thing the TV show got right."

The bell outside stopped ringing and silence fell.

Hardison smiled. "Merry Christmas, Parker."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Happy Holidays!


End file.
